 | | | | Slippery slide to 60 |  |
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I stopped into Loehman’s in San Francisco recently while waiting for my car to be serviced and, of course, found a “must-have.” On sale. As I stood at the register counter, the sales clerk said, “Oh, you have a birthday coming up.” (I’m a member of the “insider club,” where the store keeps track of such things)
“You get 15 percent off, and happy birthday!”
“Thank you, but I don’t want them any more. I’ve had enough!” I joked.
“Yes you do,” she said, quietly and sternly.
I immediately got what she meant. And she’s right. It was days after the death of Farah Fawcett, Ed McMahon and Michael Jackson. I don’t want to be like them. I don’t want to be dead just yet, although I know I will be one day. So, I must continue to have birthdays and perhaps should start really celebrating them.
The transition from 30 to 40 was weird, 40 to 50 even weirder. The slide from 50 to 60? Well, it certainly isn’t pretty for a woman.
I don’t obsess about my looks and weight, and am not interested in doing anything other than having a healthy lifestyle — eating right, staying fit, slathering on my antioxidant serums and lotions, and keeping my mind active — to stay as youthful as I can be.
And I have been told I look good ... for my age.
But I can’t deny that I don’t have feelings as I inch toward age 60.
I’m not alone, either. A recent study by the Pew Research Center showed that people ages 18 to 29 believe we become old at age 60. Forty may be the new 30, but evidently, 60 is not the new 50!
The middle-aged say it’s more like 70, and those ages 65 and older we’re not “old” until we hit 74.
The first sign that we’re over the hill, youngsters say, is once we start to forget names — a problem I’ve had since my youth!
And more of the youngsters fully expect to experience the other “old” benchmarks of aging — illness, inability to drive, end to sexual activity, loneliness and depression, difficulty paying bills — than we elders actually say we do.
But the survey points to something I’ve certainly noticed — the older we get, the younger we feel.
I’m not quite sure what 50 or 55 or 60 is “supposed” to feel like, but most of us feel younger than we are — half of those questioned age 50 and older say they feel at least 10 years younger than their chronological age.
Maybe that’s what led to the whole cougar-MILF phenomena.
I don’t recall my parents being “hip” when they were in their 40s and 50s, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t feel that way. Or maybe there just wasn’t quite the emphasis on feeling that way in those days as there is now.
The survey also indicates that most of us believe that our lives have turned out better than we expected. Despite my divorce a few years ago (which, after divorcing in my 20s, I did not expect to experience again) and the fact that my beloved chosen career — journalism — is abandoning me, I would say, yes, I am happy. I have a wonderful family, wonderful friends, a wonderful boyfriend, and even though my career is uncertain, I am exploring new ways to reinvent myself.
But one of the reasons that I’m happier nowadays is that I’ve let go of a lot of expectations; I just want to experience what is. That's made me more present.
Still, I will welcome turning 60 — still several years away — with more ambivalence than I did when I turned 40 or 50.
Oh, and, happy birthday to me.
How do you feel about aging?
When will you consider yourself "old"?
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Thanks! Thank you. I will even let you slide on the "hotly" See how easily I'm bought?
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Stretching the prime My dear, I'm quite certain that you will do the 50 to 60 transition gracefully and, well... hotly. (I know, "hotly" isn't a word, but let's pretend)
As I get a little older (granted, not terribly old yet), I find myself determined to be "in my prime" for a long time. I imagine your prime has many, many years left. |
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